and with that bolt of lightning i was reborn as The Flash

Oh who woulda guessed it, I never died!

I've been doing things that have left me too busy to do a serious post and there's been too many bits and pieces popping up to let me do another tiny thing. Writing for extended periods of time is fun anyway! These events will be reported on out of order, as that's the kind of guy I am. Messin' all up with your perception of time, yo.

Maddie had never been to Ikea and I was itchin' to go somewhere, so I said we should go to Ikea one day, but she turned me down as it was about six pm and the only Ikea was almost two states away. The next day, we got up and jumped in her car and drove on several interstates, almost past the top of Virginia, to Ikea! What happened in Ikea doesn't really need reporting on, they're all the same. They all even keep the same layout inside, basically. The journey did take almost five hours though, and that's where all the fun in this country comes from in my opinion.

To start with, on the way we decided to get some burgers. I've already mentioned how America does big burgers, but I just have to repeat myself. Dang. We stopped at a burger place where the smallest thing on the menu was 1/3 of a pound. I got a 1/2 pound bacon cheeseburger because I hate my arteries, but even with that deep-seated disgust, I couldn't bring myself to order a 2/3 pound triple cheeseburger. I felt fatter just looking at the menu.

We got there and spent a good 3 hours wandering around, as one does, then left at about 9pm, intending to get back to Raleigh at about midnight/one AM. America has funny ways of designating highways though, what with one road being I-144, US-64 and H-44 all at once. Is that a bit of foreshadowing? I'm a terrible writer, so yes that's entirely foreshadowing and I'm warning you in advance!

We stopped at an ice-cream-focused diner called Friendly's in Richmond, Virginia for dinner, and split a combo meal which worked out great; combo meals cost $12 and you got to choose two mains and two sides, which meant for $12 we got a big steak, a big piece of grilled flounder, a lot of mashed potato and a lot of broccoli.

To pause for a little side-note: people in America are far, far more receptive to broccoli than in Australia. It's great, as it's basically my favourite vegetable. Returning to our scheduled programming...

After that came ice creams, and as you would expect from the fatty fast food candy nation, it was fantastic. Then came driving back, and who can blame me for thinking Exit 64, marked with a 64 sign on the side of the road, was different from I-64. Certainly not Maddie i'm very sorry still! We both sort of realised this around the time when it was 2am and we were driving through the mountains in West Virginia. We got home around 5am, it was in my opinion a really fun journey but for some reason that girl didn't like it. How odd!


The second time of going to the karaoke bar was a lot more relaxed; a girl remembered my hillbilly name (ah'm tom-bob y'all) and the guy remembered I'm Australian, but I never had to sing any more embarassing songs or anything like that, I just got to spend it how I normally would.


College is back in here, it started about August 20 for most people. This means I'm having a lot of time by myself to wander around Raleigh (or at least the college area, as I don't want to spend $110 to get utterly lost by cab, and when you're 22 the college area is basically the funnest area anyway) and generally get up to fun and games. There's a coffeeshop that I was warned was going to be full of arrogant people, but I've been going there regularly and the only time I found someone arrogant was two days ago, when a barrista stared at me like I was an idiot because I wanted a blended ice mocha which it turns out they call a "Joe Juice." I totally made him feel like an idiot in return though by explaining that somebody from another country not knowing their arbitrary and un-labelled name for a generally uniformly-named coffee beverage was hardly the height of ignorance he made it out to be, and he seemed to actually feel bad. On account of the blushing he did. I'm clearly the king of the coffeeshop in THIS state.

ANYWAY, I walked in another direction and had lunch at a rock-and-roll themed restaurant where I got served by a really nice, sweet, unbelievably stupid girl from Georgia. She had a ridiculously thick southern accent ("bread" had two syllables) and kept talking to me and asking how my meal was going and such, and bless her soul if she didn't ask me why I wasn't still in England even after telling her about a minute ago that I was in Australia. I couldn't help but laugh inwardly and tell her outwardly that England is having trouble with the French invasion, so for my own safety I decided to flee to the land of the free where nobody will attack you. She, and I feel kinda bad, didn't realise at all that I was joking around and mentioned how America is definitely a good refuge and how I shouldn't worry about those French here, oh dear.


People from up north seem to be a lot more short tempered and let one annoying thing ruin their entire day than people from the south here. Also, people from the north seem to think anybody with a southern drawl is a total idiot. People from down south are willing to let life just go on and to not get hung up on dumb stuff. I'm much preferring the south so far, despite the fact that all the "must see" things in America are up north. This may just be northeners in the south who have grumpy attitudes, who knows. My opinion will be more rounded soon!


As for other plans, in a few weeks I'll be in Ohio, I decided to not go to Philly because outside of a former skateboarding monument there's not too much that excites me, on October 19 I'll be in Michigan and last-minute bookings for trips to New York or Los Angeles are more expensive than booking a few months in advance, so I haven't decided exactly when I'm going to let $500 go to spend a week in the Big Apple but it'll probably be mid to late September.


I have to go. Not just to the toilet, but off to greater horizons. I'll try and find ways to update more! I promise!